Pensive....

Feeling kind of moody & brooding today. Can't help but find myself wondering..."Is this all there is?"
"Is there something I could have done? Or should have done?"
"How different would my life be?"
"What if.....?"
I should be happy with what I have & be grateful for the things I have in my life. My 2 beautiful girls, 3 great boys, Jeff, my Mother, my sister & her children, & the friends that surround me, but there's that nagging voice at the back of my mind ......."Somethings missing..."
Something that makes me wonder if this is how I want to live the rest of my life. Can I be happy this way? or am I going to be forced to make changes for real happiness?
I don't like when I get like this. I start to question my very existence. & then I get restless, wanting to grab the girls & run away somewhere. I won't though......change scares the hell out of me.