Well.......

I sincerely try to keep this blog upbeat but sometimes I don't write because my mood is down. Well, maybe that's a mistake. I'm quite upset today, maybe I shouldn't be but it bothers me.

the girls @ work were talking about some other person, a former coworker, referring to her weight, she short & heavy, which makes her seem twice as big as she is. They were talking about how bad it is, which is true, health wise, then it went to cracks about how she looked. Hmm, some friends. Mind you, one of the friends is overweight herself. She's taller than the aforementioned lady & I, but nevertheless, at least 80 or so overweight. I myself am about the same, but being short, it looks worse on me than on her. & oh yeah, she had a month or 2 where she did weight watchers & lost about 20-25 lbs. Well, good for her.....

Anyhow, the cracks went on for a moment & I sat here, conscious they could also refer to me. I said aloud " Thanks _____". & she said "Well its true. You are what you are"

Ummm, yeah, thanks for the reminder that IM fucking fat. I'd almost forgotten you know. What would I have done without your reminders. AS IF I could ever forget.

Am I over sensitive?

Doesn't help that I'm just getting back into dieting & going back to the gym & working out. FUck, I'm TRYING.

Where ah been....

Oh my it has been an interesting week. I've started walking. Going again today, I really look forward to it & enjoy going. I look forward to getting to where I can jog the 3 miles instead of walking it. The path I take goes up behind my old HS. Its weird. I can recall all the fun we had, all the trouble we got into. I remember skipping class & hanging at Jesse's. 13 people in a red closet anyone?

Also remember walking from the school to Bev's house. Wow, amazing the energy we had as kids. Id love to just go walking thru the school again. I went in when my niece was going there, it was weird. So much had changed, but a lot was still the same. Id just love to walk from class to class like I did before. rushing to & fro, taking steps 4 or 5 at a time, sliding to a halt just as the bell rang.I remember eating ketchupy fries at the smoke hole, or skipping lunch altogether to just talk with friends. The good ol days................lol

Anyhoo, I look forward to working myself back into shape, gonna walk every day that I can, then get back to the gym as well, start hitting the elliptical's, & some of the weight machines as well. I think if I do the weights, Ill build up the muscle mass to keep skin from looking all ick. I've been doing a lot of research on that, I think its possible to lose the weight w/out the nasty flappy skin. It involves replacing fat mass with muscle mass. Skin is very thin anyway, so realistically, when someone has 6 or 7" of 'skin on their abdomen, its not all skin. There's fat there too. Skin is a living growing organ & in most younger people, it should be accommodating the body it covers. So we will see. That's my belief anyway.

Yeah yeah yeah I know.

I've been a bad girl. Been a busy bad girl.

Kids been sick, I've been sick. Trying to get my house in order, spring cleaning is in full swing @ my house too. I'm in a raging full purge mode. Tossing stuff left & right. How can a household accumulate so much crap?

This Sunday Medicine Clan is doing Ostara. I can't wait. I got a lot out of our last gathering, nice to be with community again.

This coming Friday is Mom's 61st Bday. I want to surprise her , so I intend to get home early & get dinner made, plus pick up a cheesecake @ SAMS. Theirs are uber-awesome. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm (drool).Tomorrow the girls are coming up to work after school to stuff Easter eggs for our office monthly charity & also to help Kendall out w/ her BACA project for Laura Dester shelter. It will be a good thing for the girls to do plus earns Kayla a few hours for her yearly community service she does @ school. This weekend is more cleaning, organizing. I'm tackling the back yard & shed. yuck.

Then NEXT Friday is Ostara @ Chandler w/ Gloria. Cant wait for that one, I'm also gonna give Lee a ride to that.

Then Sat is the moon @ Owen park, I'm supposed to be leading that, not sure if I'm doing it or not as I haven't gotten much feedback from Marc. Hell, I haven't heard from him for a month now. Need to get that site moved as well. Bleh. At some point, I want to make it down to the river too, also get to the gym at least 2x this coming week.

Just been soooooooooooooooo busy.
Diets going good, Down 2 more pounds, sinned a little today, but back on the wagon tomorrow. I feel much better when I eat well. Body just feels cleaner.
We're looking for a new couch too. The one we have was nice at one time. It is a large sectional, tan in color, microfiber, 2 incliner's, fold out bed & all. Mom paid about 1500. for it.Nice....at one time. When I moved out of my home, during my divorce, the ex moved in w/ his girlfriend & moved his trashy brother in the house. Well, when i saw the couch again(when they were gonna throw it to the curb), it looked like it had been rubbed din the dirt. it was filthy, almost black in spots, had cat scratches & some cigarette burns on it. Disgusting. I went ahead & took it, scrubbed & scrubbed it. Found out some of the springs for the bed were gone, the pieces that attached it together were gone, & some places were rubbed the fabric off, the cushion zipper was busted on 2 cushions, & other stuff. i was so pissed. they lived there about 5 months before the house was foreclosed on-since he didn't make the payments like he said he was going to......Oh well.
We looked at several today, we think we found one we like, going back tomorrow to close the deal. :)

Workblogging part 1564132156456132154561

Oh my! I am just stuffed. Someone from one of the private mortgage insurance companies brought the entire office lunch from Johnny Carino's. Yummmmmmmmmmmm
Can't beat free food & good free food at that!
Today will have to be my diet free day. lol
I'll have to be good the rest of the week & depending on the weather, Ill get my ass out on the bike too. Do plan on walking though.
Talked to BB last night, she's been quite sick, completely lost her vopice, she's finally on the up end of it. They're all moved into her own apt now. IM so happy for her. She got a decent job at a hotel, rebuilding her life in paradise, just across the street from the Gulf of Mexico. Awesome view there. It's been pretty quiet lately, at least since our last counseling thing. That was.....well...it was. How about icky?
Can I say it was icky?
Anyhoo, things are quiet now, the OKie girls are doing better in school, the rooms are cleaner, dont know what else to add. lol

Up all night.....up all day?

YAWNnnnnnnnnnnnn......Here it is, almost 12:30 & Im wide awake while Ice King snoozes happily away just a mere few feet from me. UGH
NOT fair!
I swear, he can go to fully conscious to dead on snoring in .2 seconds!
The Okie girls are both doing much better, the job stuation still hasnt changed, no decision on what to do. The diet is going fairly good. Im down 2 lbs. Not much but a start. Mostly just watching what i eat & parking further away @ work. Also trying to do yard work for exercise. I may break out one of my DVD's. lol
After I get paid, Im calling the Belly dance place. me....belly dancing....imagine that.lol
Night all