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Friday, November 9, 2007

Reflections

Went to a concernt today at my daughter's school. The school houses the middle school & the high school. We all sat in the auditorium, high & midde school kids crammed in all around us. It took me back in time. For a few moments I was transported back to being an awkward gangly 13 year old all over again. A kid trying to fit in & trying to be unobtrusive at the same time. It really wasnt a good feeling. I wouldnt relive those days for anything. Sure, theres things Id love to be able to change, like maybe standing up for yself a little more & a little sooner. Maybe telling off the Maureen Brauner's & Shannon Willsey's who used to make fun of me & taunt me for no good reason, except that I was then & still am my own person. Maybe even telling the Mike Given's & the Brett Rozell's of that world to piss off &leave me be. Maybe..
I was not your cookie cutter blonde cheerleader kid & I wasnt a jock. I wasnt even a band 'geek' kid. I kind of stood out, quiet, sensitive & more in my own little world than in the world of hell that was middle school. By the time 7th grade rolled around, I had grown a thincker skin & grown a bit more confident. I still remember slapping Shannon across the face in 7th grade PE class. The teacher never said a word to me...
I can remember in 8th grade , desperately wanting to be someone else. Alas, it never happened, now Im pretty much glad Im who I am, sure, as a fat chick, Id like there to be less of me, but me, my inner self, she's ok.
Back to reality......her concert was great. She sang beautifully. Standing up proud & beautiful. I wonder if she ever feels like I used to?

2 comments:

Phillipa said...

God i can remember middle school. Man that sucked. Hope the kiddos doing better.

Beth said...

being 13 was a nightmare, i know what you mean about being the different kid. I was picked on a lot.Sucks huh?
Kudos to you for making it out alive.