Hi, my name is.......(not Slim Shady)

So I'm reading one of my very favorite blogs over here & I decided to follow suit.
Hello, my name is not David
Hi, my name is Deborah K. Andrews soon to be Gray, but you can call me Mom, Mama, Debb, Aunt Debb or Your Highness. Bitch will do, too. Never in my life have I bungee jumped and frankly, I have no intention of ever doing so. The one person who can drive me absolutely stark raving mad is my well meaning fiancee’, the Ice King. My high school was Redneck Hicksville Catoosa High School. When I'm nervous I wring my hands. The last song I listened to was some song by Eminem. If I were to get married right now it would probably piss the Ice King off pretty bad. My hair is tolerable for the first time in my life. Thank God for Pepsi. When I was 4 I was a total pain in the ass to my sister, BB. Last Christmas, I thought was going to suck & it ended up pretty cool. When I look down I see my big 'ol girls who probably could sit a bit higher than they currently reside.
The happiest recent event was when Jeff got on the wagon. If I were a character on LOST I'd be the one who gets eaten. By this time next year I hope to be half my current size. Twinkies Away!!!!. My current mood is miserable, after our company Thanksgiving dinner. I wanna sleeeeeeep. I have a hard time understanding men..... There's these girls that work in my office & they’re like total bitches.... oops are you reading this?
Shhhhhh. If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be Mom. I want to buy me a new life. I plan to visit Michigan again in January. If you spent the night at my house we'd play on the computer, tuck my girls into bed (well, you'd wait while I did it) then crawl in bed & sleeeeeeeeep. The world could do without any kind of bugs. The most recent thing I've bought myself is a Pepsi, lol. The most recent thing someone else bought me is a Coke.
My middle name is Kaye. In the morning I should just hook myself up to an IV full of caffeine. Last night I was dreaming about sleeping. There's this woman I work with who smells like a dead old person. If I was an animal I'd be a bear & hibernate all winter. A better name for me would be YAWNNNNNNNNNNN. Tomorrow I am going to be scrubbing a wood floor. Tonight I am pulling up tack boards from a wood floor. I wish the asshole that carpeted my current wood floor was a dead motherfucker.