Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Random thoughts

Usually I like the rain, today it feels different. Like theres something about to happen, the proverbial hammer is about to fall. I cant describe it, explain it, or put my finger on it, I just know its about to happen.
I question how it will affect me. Sometimes I just get restless & I know a change is about to occur. Not an everyday change, but something life altering. I am changing as well, I have been irritable, short-tempered & feeling very agitated. I snap at people or fall into a doom & gloom pool.
Not sure what to make of it. If it is simply hormone induced, then it should pass soon, but its been going on awhile, so I'm inclined to believe it is not that.
I feel ready to run, to be honest, to grab my girls & hit the road. I need a break, some space, some breathing room & a chance to clear my head. The last 4-5 years have been fucking nuts. The end of my marriage, the whole idiot saga, my divorce, Jeff, the issues in my house, moving several times, job changes, all of it.....I am exhausted. At the same time, I'm bursting with an urge to DO something. But what?

This weekend was actually nice. slept in some on Saturday , Jeff worked so me & the girls had some free time. We mostly vegged out,
Sunday we took a drive to River Parks & walked around, fed the ducks, but it was very crowded. Then we could hear drumming, we started looking for it & saw a 4 man band walking around, one wearing a gas mask, the other a 'sars' mask, one playing a bongo, another banging on a mailbox ((yes really!), one playing cans. It was bizarre, they marched all around the park, not saying a word. Turns out it was the band that was performing live at the little patio bar they have out there. Definitely got everyones attention.

Id have liked to stayed & had a drink or 2 & listened but Jeff didn't want to, neither did the girls. SO we wandered down to the kids park where Abi played awhile. Then we packed it up & went to Woodward park, beautiful pout there,

got some great shots of the girls & some floral shots too.

Also saw this little squirrel, he wasn't shy at all, practically posed for the camera!

Ive been at work over a year now. Still don't feel a lot different. funny how that is

Me & Jeff are approaching 2 year anniversary, just a few more days, wonder if he'll realize that?

By the way, I have a HUGE addiction to Sonic's Java Chillers. OMG, heaven in a cup.