There are days

When it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. I wake up this morning at 4am, after being awake til almost 2am , have hell getting back to sleep, then alarm goes off at 7, i get up 15 minutes later. I hurt. I really hurt all over.
I drag myself to the bathroom, discover my 'friend' has shown up for a visit (sorry guys), drop things all over the bathroom, struggle for over 15 minutes trying to make a contact go in my eye.
Get to work late, after almost being hit head on in the QT parking lot.My desk is covered in files, more files being dumped on my desk, files on the floor, in buckets near my desk, all for me to do. 'Oh Deborah, Im gonna have you help me with this' & 'So & so needs your help'
Get into a discussion over the healthcare bill at work, Boss says if it goes into effect & they are taxed as many are saying will happen to the employers, the business will likely go under. NEVER heard back from the interview I had with the other company, not that I relaly expected to. Oh well.Got denied help from one agency, which means more financial shot to take on plus I will have to figure out how to pay for my daughters braces beyond the cut off date, as she just lost all medical. SHIT.
Next week we're supposed to take the boys back to Michigan. As much as Id like my peace back, Im worried about them going back.But thats a whole other story for another blog. Because of that trip, my check will be 2 days short, knocking a big chunk off my pay. I have no vacation or sick time. & wont til after January
of 2010. (If I still have a job then..... )
SO that means I'll once again be short on paying bills.
Sigh.
I hate my fucking life sometimes.
Then looked at my bank account. $34. in the hole.
I give up.

General asshats
Circle I Limbo

DMV Employees
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Democrats
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies, PETA Members
Circle IV Rolling Weights

The Pope
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Creationists
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Nancy Pelosi
Circle VII Burning Sands

Barack Obama
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Osama bin Laden
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

I hesitated to write this, for I imagine, I'll get flack for it. But I really don't care anymore. I feel abandoned. By several people who called me friend. People in whose home I spent time, whose company I used to keep & who used to talk as sisters of the heart. Oh, I accept the fact that those days are over yet I think about it still. One friend, I felt a great kinship with now I rarely ever speak to, they're always too busy. I've tried a few times & a few times have made a connection with them, but its just not the same, & it never will be.
The friend I thought they were just simply isn't. The days are gone of fun things on the weekends or sitting on the grass talking or exploring mysterious places & holiday celebrations. That I can accept, it is the reasons which they are gone I cannot understand.
In the beginning of the end of things, I assumed they were just too busy, or perhaps we saw too much of each other at that time. As time wore on I would notice them doing things with others, & never asking me. I asked them to do things a few times, generally turned down as being too busy or something else going on or already had plans. Eventually I just stopped asking & watched sadly as the time was passed by with others. This person I thought of as my nearest & dearest friend let me pass through this world as if I were invisible. In truth, many, times I felt just that. Invisible. I have felt I can walk through my days with never speaking a word, actually many times, I did just that. Sometimes I would go through my days on the verge of tears & no one ever thought to ask, to look, to notice. Perhaps I was wrong to expect it, but I thought they were my friend.
But that is the past & since I've moved on, I can count on one hand the times we've gotten together. It hurts. It truly does, to feel as if Id been discarded. But its the past right?
Why does it still hurt?

Big Fish tales

So April Fools is on me. We have a large 55 gallon aquarium in the livingroom, fill of all kinds of fish, it has been doing wonderfully with minimal loss here & there. I was pretty proud of it.
So last week we noticed the cloth it sat on was rather damp. As we'd just replaced some water we figured we had spilled some. A few days ago, we noticed that it was apparently actually leaking some as it was wetter. Hmmm........its no small task to tear it down & redo it.
Well today we got to do it anyway!
Mom was sititng here watching tv when she heard a loud CRACK CRACK, she freaked out & called me, said we had to do somethign TODAY!
oops
So they start draining the tank & get the fish in buckets, hoping they dont die. ive got some old timers in there.....
We move the tank & DAMN, the wood underneath is all wet, warped & cracking right down the middle. if wed have waited, wed have had a catastrophic failure & 55 gallons of fish & watrer in the floor, mixed with electricity, a lot f glass & whatever was in front of it when it went could have died..
DAMN
So we had to replace the cabinet, spent more thna planned on a stand & had to get small pumps to aerate the buckets so my fishies dont croak (hopefully!).
We're resealing it, refilling it & praying for the best. The thing itself isnt leaking though, the failure is in one of my filter boxes, just enough to make a big damn mess.

Jokes on you

We filed today. Hope all goes well. Shes completely in the right & hes completely in the wrong, per Oklahoma state law, so praying for the best. Keep your fingers & other appendages crossed.